9th April 2026.



Today has been productive work-wise regarding some of my endeavours. I have once again been thinking about the BCC corruption scandal and the supported housing scandal, as I do every day, really, truthfully. Given the high stakes and the loved one I fight these battles in memory of. 


A moment ago I found myself once again full of tears and quite lost. I dwelt on what may next need to be sacrificed to expose Birmingham City Council and its protection of wicked landlords. The cost is high yet I have paid far higher-why am I so obssessed with clinging to my sense of identity? I am the one always going on about needing to keep growing, to keep changing, 


The decisions that have had to be made. The decisions within decisions within decisions. The incredible strength and resilience. Yet so much more is required. Do I have what it takes? I can not give up: that would be a sure way to forsake the suicidal and suffering, even if fighting back grants us but a small chance of saving a life, it is more than worth it. I am scared. It is high-time I was open about that. I am terrified. I am so terrified. I can not defeat the combined forces of Birmingham City Council and its expensive lawyers, Sajid Hussain, Concept Housing Association and potentially even the entire Labour administration should the latter elect to cover up the crimes of the labour-run Birmingham City Council. But I must try. In memory of our loved one. We all must stand up and fight. But I am terrified still. 


I keep thinking of the catchphrases delivered to me over the decades through cartoons and movies, television shows, books, comics and games. I am certainly nothing like Moses. But I do think back to that scene up on Youtube where God says to Moses "I will teach you what to say." So many of these old phrases bounce around my head from shows produced so long ago. So well remembered by me and my heart and mind conspire to instantly interpret them with framing appropriate for the battles in my life and to transform the words themselves at times.

One of such words hitting me again today was Superman's line in the Justice League cartoon: "I am not the man who killed President Luthor. Right now, I wish to Heaven that I were but I am not."

I instantly hear "I am not the man who destroyed Birmingham City Council. Right now, I wish to Heaven that I were but I am not." Birmingham City Council destroyed itself with greed and corruption. We are trying to save both it and its victims.



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