Megan Ruby Walsh (Spoof)

Megan, the jubliant and amazing Pokemon Trainer of the Galar region, has just been offered an honorary degree in Pokemon ethics for her tireless work fostering relationships and feeding her pet Barry, a goose, with Jaffa Cakes.

Megan has long campaigned for equality among Pokemon representatives and is glad to have been afforded an opportunity to back these bipartisan measures. Megan began her research studying at Professor Elm's School For Adventurists and earned her degree in record time without a single compromise on quality. She says: "If the investigative journalism career had not worked out well... I could see myself having become a musician of some sort. I always carried a tune well."

Megan, engaged to Gary Oak, has found great comfort during lockdown through the support her pet Pokemon have provided. Lord Barry of Birmingham, future husband of Avril Lavigne, has commended Megan repeatedly for her stoic spirit and sense of fellowship. We asked Lord Barry for a direct comment regarding the Conservatives' plan to decrease Pokemon travel allowances but before he could submit a reply we were informed of his internet ban taking effect, having been banned from the internet for repeatedly scrawling: "There is no writer like William Shakespeare. There is no singer like Avril Lavigne." on countless posts across countless forums. His defence of "Jeffrey Archer told me to do it" was sadly rejected and ultimately ignored as greatly as his "Just you wait until I'm mayor... You'll find out how tough I am." line he repeatedly uttered every time he awoke. 

Megan once provided Barry a singing lesson which challenged the latter and challenged the former even more greatly with Megan remarking: "I know I am no singer but gosh and golly: I have heard interior rumblings from a Snorlax emanate and prance with more composure and dignity. Why am I subjecting myself to this?"

This article was not in any way encouraged by bribery, if disregarding the blatant attempts to woo both Megan and Avril. The line you just read was penned by the hand of Gordon Brown. No it was not. Yes it was. Shh. No. Yes.

And now for seriousness... During covid-19's awful lockdowns Megan Walsh did actually inform us, via her Instagram account, that she was providing singing lessons for a fee. I did actually have a lesson, via Zoom and so it is actually factual to say that Megan was once my music teacher! She was a delightfully sincere, patience and hardworking soul whom put up with my anxiety and awkwardness and also told me more about her life, such as the fact that she studied in Birmingham earlier in life, when I mentioned that I live in Birmingham and she always had a warm smile and the gentle expression of good humour to hand and to heart. Thank you, Megan!